time off

There's too much going on in my life right now. How can I say it's too much? I came to the point of already not knowing what date it is and mixing up everybody's birthday. So what's been going on? 

First off, my heart's broken. Yes, you read it right. My heart's currently not okay. I've been trying, sacrificing and doing whatever I could just to make things work.Everything was okay then...everything was just so sudden.  But then, I am still not giving up on love. I guess He's just too busy writing everyone else's love story.  I guess He's still searching for my match as well. Maybe He thinks I still need to explore the world more. And maybe He thinks, I just need a little more time for me to love myself.

Second, I think my MA dreams would be on hold...I hope only for a while. I've been telling myself the lowest educational degree I would settle for would be an MA. But then, things don't seem to be on my side. Not bragging, but I know I have enough skills for me to get that scholarship. But practicality wise, time isn't in my hands. Reality check: I will be graduating at 22. If I get KGSP,I will graduate at 25. I want to get married at 27, the latest 28. If I follow my dreams, I will only be working for at least 2 years...that is IF I get a job right after I graduate. Let's face it, with the way things are going, working for ONLY just two years wouldn't get me enough experience nor enough money. So I guess I have to temporarily forget my MA dreams and just hope to get a nice, good-paying, and most of all enjoyable job once I graduate. Oh, and I have to take my parents around Philippines and buy my own place by the age of the 25. So I guess, that really means, bye bye MA.  

Third, I am on my final year in UP. Final year= stress, pressure, thesis, diet, career, future...and everything that goes along with it.Likewise, I am really pressured to graduate already because I feel so left behind by my closest friends. I mean, they are all working now, which makes me envious and out of place. 

So, too much things going on. I just need some time off. REALLY. I guess I really have to sort out my priorities and get my life back in order. 

just as it is

Yes, THAT aspect of my life is starting to fall apart. 

For one day, I felt like it was the end of the world. I couldn't say that I have recovered 100% already. I am still hurting. It is the first after all. I am still sad. BUT...

I am not going to give up just yet. I am not going to let this get in the way of me achieving my dreams and going back to my second home. 

I just realized that life really is about give and take. I lost but found a new source of motivation. 

Thank you Papa God for making me realize this. I promise to work harder and give 500...no, 1000% of my abilities in my last three semesters in UP. 

But yes, I am still not giving up on THAT aspect. I may be unlucky now, but I know, He will never let me fail in THAT aspect. And maybe, just maybe, it just wasn't our time just yet. =) 

Thank you Papa God! I am accepting my life, right now, just as it is. =)