Today was the first time I saw you since I came home. I've been preparing myself when this happens. But today, I was totally caught unexpectedly. I've been thinking to myself that I will act normal when I see you.
But then, you greeted me. I didn't expect it. And honestly, when I saw you, I asked myself, "Where did the feelings during those three long years go?" And then I realized, I just really moved on already.
But then, I have to make everything clear to you. I mean, I don't want to keep your hopes up. I don't also want to keep on giving you signs that an "us" could still be possible. But yeah, I do still want to keep the friendship, we are friends after all. I just don't know how to make things clear to you. If I start avoiding you, you may just take it as my normal reaction to you. If I start being all friendly, you may take it as a "I still like you" sign. Why does this have to be so complicated?
One thing is INDEED for sure. This time, I am 200% sure that I've moved on. I am being totally unfair if I settle for someone just because he's the one nearby. I know how difficult the situation would be, but as I said, I am completely ready to take risks and whatever just for the one who really made me feel loved, valued and important.
To that one person, I miss you more than you could imagine. I know I keep on telling you "I miss you" and you may juts take is as my routine speech to you but I really mean it. I know everything will be difficult, but I still believe everything will be worth it in the end.
I miss you. I can't wait to see you again.
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