As I listened closely, I could hear one more thing...
Stolen glances.
When I'm really tired,down and stressed, I want to see your smile. Because seeing it makes me feel that everything will be worth it in the end.
But sometimes seeing you could be heartbreaking just because I know that I am just your "good friend." That we can never be what I wished to be.
Our world right now is too small. I get to see you at least four times a week and talk to you at least once a week.
I know you're not stupid. I know you know that I like you THAT way.
Sometimes I regret telling you. Sometimes I think this was the only way to go.
I purposely glance at you during class hours...more than you know. I can't help it. Just seeing your eyes even in side view makes me feel like my day is complete.
And sometimes I catch you looking my way too. I don't want to think of it that way but I can't help it.
We're too much alike. We're loners. We like going out on our own. We are both quiet when around most people and only open up only within our circle.
Today, we walked out of the classroom together. We walked down the stairs together. You could have gone first but you waited for me.
It was raining. We both didn't have our umbrellas. I had a hoodie on so I can walk even if it was raining. You were wearing a trench coat today so you had no choice but to get wet.
I offered to lend you my scarf because it was big enough to cover your head. You turned down my offer because you said I should use it so that I wouldn't get sick.
You used our book to cover your head. You told me to walk faster. I told you I can't. I asked you go ahead because I didn't want you to get sick. But you waited for me.
"예뻐요."
I heard you say it again after a very long time. And you said it looking straight into my eyes. Then I heard your hearty laugh again.
Hearing that simple phrase and hearing your hearty laugh made me want to freeze time. It made my heart skip a beat.
I really wished we could have stayed under the rain a little bit longer. Because it was one of the few times that you were the real you and I was the real me. It was one of the few moments when we feel that special connection between us.I swear it was priceless.
And if this is what they call love, then I am in love with you after all. I can say that you are and will always be my first love.
...and right now, as the rain is slowly coming to an end, I realized what I was hearing all along....
...it was my heart skipping a beat just because I am thinking of you.
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